rock n roll high school

Download this post and save it to a disc. This is the birth of a superstar. Jake Miller. Lead singer of the Paras.

The Paras were the final band to play at the Goshen High School Battle of the Bands. My grandma and I showed up late, so we only caught the last three acts. When we arrived, the Aviators were on the stage. They were a sort of dark, grinding rock band with a lead singer who seemed to have a Chloraseptic deficiency. The Aviators were followed by a band with an acronym name. I guess you'd call their music emo -- sort of slow, pre-suicide punk.

Then the Paras took the stage and everyone went nuts. Jake Miller was wearing his trademark red cardigan and pencil-leg cords and a thin tie. He jumped up and down, shook his moppy hair and the girls screamed. When he sang, his voice came out sort of British like. A little snotty, like Johnny Rotton.

Afterward, Jake said that God was on the Paras' side. A friend of his mom said, "If I didn't know you, I'd think you were on drugs, they way you were moving up their."

"That's how you're supposed to be," he said, a little annoyed.

Grandma and I went home before the votes were tallied, because we're old. We just knew that the Paras were the best band there, that it'd be nothing short of a scandal of Olympic-figure-skating proportions If these future titans of rock were to be denied their rightful place in the annals of rock history. But then, they were the last band. Folks could have cast their votes earlier for the dreaded Aviators.

But later, Jake called...

The Paras won!!

Meditate on these pictures, folks. Soon, all the kids will be stealing this band's music: