the 80s: diy, mf!

I was a one-man media empire at age 15.

I was the owner, publisher, editor, staff writer, graphic designer, typesetter, printer, folder and stapler for the esteemed publication, Nasal -- where you could read interviews with all the top punk acts who'd made their way to Colorado (that had gigs on nights I could break free from home). Can't remember who all I interviewed, but I know I scored exclusives with Die Kreutzen, Flipper and Ill Repute.

Punk's gotta be the coolest hobby for a kid in his midteens.

I think I only printed one issue of Nasal. My mom let me use the copy machine at her work on a weekend. It ran out of ink, and we poured the wrong ink in it and broke it. She got into trouble for it. So that was it for Nasal.

But by then it was summer and I was off to Indiana to start a band with my old buddy Andy and to become a concert promoter.

Our band was called Rellik -- killer spelled backward. Andy played guitar. He was pretty good, but mostly into heavy metal. I wrote the lyrics and sang. Or I screamed and writhed, actually. The only song I can remember was called "Detention." And that's all I remember, the title. And the inspiration for the title. I spent a bit of time there my freshman year.

We were gearing up for our first gig in late summer. This was to be a multi-act event headlined by Jodie Foster's Army. I spent all summer working on it. I reserved the venue, an American Legion Hall, I think. I had flyers and tickets printed up. And I booked all the bands by calling them myself. Their numbers were printed for all to see in the pages of Maximum Rock'n'Roll.

The gig never happened. I only managed to sell one ticket. And boy was that guy disappointed.

Rellik fell apart too. Or I did.

But that's another story unto itself.