Thursday, August 21, 2008

deena

As the Olympics were approaching, the event I looked forward to most was the women's marathon because Deena Kastor is one of my favorite athletes. So I was shocked and deeply disappointed to see her have to drop out just three miles in because of an injury.

Here's a video where she talks about the disappointment and how she's dealing with it. It's worth watching.

Wednesday, August 06, 2008

new yorker

A couple of years ago, my agent told me to forget about trying to write for the New Yorker. She said it's too clicky. You have to be a real insider to get a break with them. And besides, once you get in, they're a pain to work with.

So I stopped reading it. Sort of took the fun out of it.

But this week I'm going to have to buy a copy. They've got a long article about Ryan Hall.

medals map

This is a fascinating interactive data interface. It's interesting to click through the years and watch the spread of the circles. The first thing you notice is how north-heavy it is. That's to be expected, I suppose. But then when you get into the eighties, it's remarkable how much it spreads. It seems another strong piece of evidence for the so-called flattening of the world in the age of information.

Saturday, August 02, 2008

super hot

This morning I ran 18.7 miles. It was about 80 degrees at the start, and 90 or so by the time I finished.

And I learned something along the way. When your body starts running low on liquid to sweat, you get goose bumps. It's kind of like a back-up cooling system. But it's not as efficient as sweat. So, soon after they appear, you start to bonk.

That's what happened to me. At about mile 15, I hit a wall. I had to do some walking and super slow jogging to make it all the way.

Afterward, I felt completely drained.

Allie and I went to the farmers market and we could hardly stand it, it was so hot. Allie couldn't believe I'd actually gone running in such weather.

When we got home, I flopped down in front of the TV and watched shows about the making of the National Stadium and Aquatics Center in Beijing.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Allie and I spent the weekend at the Mayor's cabin in the Ozarks. Wonderful place.

One the drive home, we bought nectarines, sweet corn, watermelon, muskmelon, zucchini and big fat sweet blackberries.

When we got home, we had a dozen or so ripe tomatoes waiting for us on the vine. Today, I picked four cucumbers. My cucumber plant has so far survived. This is a first for my garden. Every year the cucumbers and zucchinis die. This year, only the zucchini did. So now we have delicious cucs.

Tonight was my speed work out. We did four 800s, then four 400s, then another 800. Midway through, it started pouring rain. I'm the only man in my speed group. Tonight, all but one of the women beat me on just about every interval.

On Saturday, I ran in the Ozarks. Seven miles on a very hilly dirt road. It was absolutely beautiful, but hard.

As part of my current fascination with Iceland, I bought a couple of albums by Icelandic bands. Some of you might find Amiina and Apparat Organ Quartet.

It's raining like crazy outside, with great big thunder.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Saturday was great. I ran 16 miles in the morning. It was a hot day and a hilly course. But all weekend I felt like a total stud.

That afternoon, Allie and I took a drive into the country to pick blueberries and buy corn and peaches and buffalo meat. I didn't want to pick the berries, but I wound up loving it. It was a peaceful and beautiful activity. We came home with four pounds.

We bought the corn from three kids in a pick-up truck. There were two girls and a boy, ans the girls were quick to point out that they'd been there all day, but the boy hadn't. I said that boys are lazy, and the girl nodded emphatically. "Especially this one," she said.

At the buffalo farm we met a jack russell terrier. He was a little chubby, but he came right up to us and demanded a belly rub. As we exited the little store they had on the farm, he went running over to a couple of bison and started barking at them like he was boss. He was showing off for us.

Last night I did my third speed workout. I'm in the 4 group, which means I'm right in the middle. We did hill sprints and then quarter repeats. I was worried about the workout, but I hung right in there, knocking off three quarters at about 1:41 each. Afterward, and all day today, I've felt strength and healthiness. My leg muscles feel more powerful, my posture a little straighter, and each breath I take feels thick and sweet. It's such a cool thing to do, I think.

Being in the group is interesting. It's like being in high school cross country or track again, except we're all grown-ups with jobs. Everybody's got a different goal they're working toward, but we're all real serious about it.

While I'm running I feel like I'm an elite athlete. I know I'm not running as fast as one, and that I certainly don't look like I'm world-class, but it's kind of like playing air guitar to Jimi Hendrix -- I'm going through roughly the same motions Ryan Hall does when he's up with the front pack, so it's easy to slip a little into Walter Mitty mode.

But then... I'm doing quarters at 1:41. And I'm sucking wind at the end of each one. When I was 15, I ran a 10k at a faster pace. A much faster pace. So, it's easy to slip into the other direction, and beat up on myself for not sticking with track and cross country in high school and college. For not pushing my body to its limit when it was in its prime to see just how good of an athlete I could have been.

Oh well. Can't do nothing about that.

In other news, Allie and I have decided to go to Iceland next summer. I've wanted to go there ever since I saw something on PBS about the incredible music scene they have there.

So, for the past week or so I've been doing a lot of research on the weird little island and becoming more and more fascinated. On our trip, we are definitely going to go here, here, here, here, here, here and here.

That's right. How could we possibly pass up a chance to visit the Icelandic Phallological Museum?

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

A little late on the update this week...

Allie's birthday was yesterday. She got treated right this year. On Saturday, the day was all hers. We went shopping at Anthropologie and Barnes and Noble. We had dinner at her favorite restaurant. And we saw Hellboy at the drive-in.

On her actual birthday, she got three months of yoga and we went to the water park.

My sense is she's pretty ding-dang happy.

Last night I did a two-mile time trial. I finished in 14:55. I feel pretty good about it. I didn't really know what to expect. It was about 90 degrees, and I'd already been in the sun all day at the water park. It was very hard. By the end, I was completely winded and I thought I was going to puke. But I didn't.

According to various race prediction formulas, I should be able to run a marathon in the 3:45 to 4:10 range. That seems a little high to me. But given a full six months of solid, injury-free training, maybe it's possible.

Something tells me I won't be breaking four hours in Chicago, though, But we'll see.

In the garden, my zucchini plant died once again. It fell victim to those damned bugs that get it at the base of the stem. I thought I might have had it licked this year. Gloria told me to spread aluminum foil on the ground. Didn't work. I'm going to thoroughly research the issue this winter and give it one last try next year.

Work is going pretty good. If we can get this regional transit deal on the November ballot it'll be quite a coup. If you're following the issue in the paper, it doesn't look to promising. But from my vantage point there's still a reasonably good shot. At any rate, it'll be on the ballot next year, which is still a huge win for Mark's administration.

Allie and I are going to Iceland next year. We're already starting to plan. I got a good guide book with lots of pretty pictures. I don't know what's more fun -- travel or thinking about traveling.

Just a little more than three weeks until the Olympics. Here's a good article about why you should be a track and field fan. It has a great quote from Anthony Anthony Famiglietti.
After his win in Eugene, he said his goal was Olympic bronze. Not gold? "There's going to be people out there who cheat," he said. "I live in reality. But maybe I can sneak in and steal it from one of those dirty jerks and get the bronze."

My favorite!

Wednesday, July 09, 2008

office supply

I need one of these:

Monday, July 07, 2008

fam

I'm starting to get really stoked about the Olympics. The last time I was into the games was 1996. I didn't watch them at all in 2000 and 2004. This year I've actually got favorites that I'm pulling for.

One of my idols right now is Anthony Famiglietti, who'll be representing the U.S. in the steeplechase. He's just completely bad ass and totally cool.

Check out his website. Be sure to click on the "RUN LIKE HELL" link and watch the trailers for his movie.

If that doesn't get you fired up for your afternoon run, I don't know what will.

Sunday, July 06, 2008

running and biking and clean livin'

Another week rolls by.

It was pretty slow at work, what with the holiday and all. Have to say I prefer it when it's hectic.

Allie and I took it pretty easy on the fourth. We barbecued and hung around the house.

We both made a pact this morning to improve our diets.

The lure of crappy foods has a fairly strong hold on both of us, so we're going to tag team it and eat more fruits and vegetables and the like. Which is convenient because we'll soon have a steady supply coming in from the backyard.

For me, diet is one of the missing pieces in my quest for a Boston Qualifier. I've been consistent with the training, joined a running club, been doing strength training, stretching before and after every run, been working real hard on my form, I'm going to be starting speed training this Tuesday.

I even got a stability ball chair for work so I can have better posture.

But I still basically eat whatever I feel like eating. That means several trips to Quiznos each week for lunch -- large tuna sandwich with cheese, bag of chips and large cookie. When I go to restaurants, I tend to go for the fatty meats. When I grill, I tend to do the same.

So now the plan is to eat more "real foods," as my new running coach calls it. Fruits, vegetables, nuts, lean meats, whole grains. That kind of stuff.

Hopefully it'll make me more energetic during the day, better fueled for runs and, above all, help me to lose the love handles I've acquired (which really freak me out, after a life of unearned skinniness.)

Speaking of Boston, I had a dream this week that I qualified. It was amazing. I was there at the beginning of the race and as the crowd took off I felt overwhelmed with joy. I was crying I was so happy.

It was a great dream. But it kind of spooked me out, too.

I've been watching the Olympic trials for track and field. I was happy to see Kara Goucher qualify in both the 10,000 and 5,000, because she went to CU.

The other cool thing was watching a 16-year-old set a national high school record for the 1500 and qualify for the finals.

Tonight's big deal event will be the men's 1500. I'm really hoping Gabe Jennings makes it.

I've started watching the Tour de France, too.

I wasn't going to, because I've become disenchanted by the recent doping scandals, but I got sucked in by the beautiful shots of the bikes rolling through the French countryside.

I was happy to see that the sport is trying to reinvent itself. Versus, which is broadcasting the event, has a promo ad that shows the scandals in reverse -- Floyd the Doping Mennonite has his yellow jersey removed, Jan the German doper rides backward and to a stop, and so on, while some song goes on about starting over again.

And there's a new American-based team that was originally called Team High Road that subjects itself to extra drug testing and is committed to ethics and all that. They're now called Team Columbia. So I'll pull for them. And if they get caught in a scandal, I'm going to swear off the sport forever. (I'm still a little bitter about that Mennonite guy.)

I guess that's it for now...

Sunday, June 29, 2008

another week

Continuing in the habit of posting a laundry list once a week...

I had a great week.

At work, we started off with a totally corny press event that was one of the most successful of our term. To announce the passage of a new ordinance to limit the number of metal plates on city streets, we had the mayor hook one of them up to a crane and give the signal to yank it. (For those of you who don't live here: KC uses metal plates to temporarily cover utility cuts. They're all over the place and they're one of the things that annoy citizens most.) All the TV stations were there, several print reporters and a radio crew. In the paper we got front page of the metro and a glowing editorial.

Then, on Wednesday, we announced a new appointment to the Parks Board. The appointee, Meg Conger, was a great choice, and we again got real good coverage of our on-location press event.

It feels like we're getting good at this stuff. And we have a lot more to come in the coming months.

Allie caught my cold and has been bogged down with it all week. The only good thing about thing is that it's given me the opportunity to serve her a lot, and I've been more than happy to do that.

Despite her cold, she's been working. One of her assignments was to write about the people who brought the Garden Weasel to America. I had no idea that these people are in Kansas City. I was so thrilled when she told me this that I could hardly stand it. But I also felt guilty because just a couple weeks ago I went to Home Depot specifically to buy a Garden Weasel. But all they had was an impostor, the Garden Hound Dog. To assuage my guilt, I immediately got online to buy a Garden Weasel hat. It arrived on Friday, and it is now my official gardening uniform.

I started my running group yesterday. I ran 10 miles and it was fantastic. This is going to turn out to be one of the best things I've ever done. When I came home from the first run, Allie said I was positively glowing. Soon they will be starting mid-week speed training. I'm so excited!

The garden is in great shape. We're having troubles with our camera, so I haven't been posting pictures. I should get that fixed this week, shouldn't I? Most of the tomato plants have reached the tops of their cages, and I have little green fruits on several of them. I'm just now pulling up a second batch of radishes, which means we need to make hummus for sandwiches. Should have beans soon. Peppers appear to be a ways off.

Mostly what I love is to get lost in the work of it. I'm just so happy when I have on my iPod and good podcast going and I'm out there pulling weeds and fussing with plants and stuff. I think it's what life is all about.

My back is feeling a lot better. I appreciate the uncle advice. I'm going to check into both things.

Until next week...

Sunday, June 22, 2008

odds and ends

Allie got me a book for my birthday called The How of Happiness. It had some good information in there about ruminating and overthinking. These are two things that I do often and they tend to make me unhappy. This book had some good suggestions about how to stop doing this. I got so into the whole concept that I tracked down a book by the leading scholar on the issue and bought it, despite the title.

Work is a real challenge for me in this area. Seems there's always something for my mind to chew on, usually a resentment against somebody who's working against us in some way or another. Lately I've had intense resentments against the local paper. It's absolutely astonishing how biased they are. I mean, I always knew it. As a reporter at the Pitch their particular slant annoyed me to no end. But now that I'm working for a concern that is on the unfavorable end of their bias, it really boils my blood sometimes.

So, yeah. Overthinking. I often think that the reason why I'm in this job is to overcome my hangups.

Haven't been able to run for most of the last week because I came down with a cold. I finally emerged from it today, and set out to spend the whole day in the yard. Got a lot done until I was yanking on a vine and I felt a sudden sharp stab in my back. The pain was so intense that I couldn't really move, so I sort of crumpled down on the ground, rolled into a sort of crawl position and then after a while managed to find an angle for my back to where I could stand up. I can move around a bit more now but it's still pretty bad. Not sure what to do. I've been seeing a sports chiropractor, so I might go see him. I don't have any doctor that I like or trust. Besides the pain it sucks because I really wanted to knock off a long list of yard stuff. Oh well. I guess I have reached the stage in manhood when my back bill is due. It happens to most of us, don't it?

This week I'm going to join a running group. It costs more than I thought it would, but I think it'll be worth it.

Saturday, June 14, 2008

faster

I'm definitely getting faster. I ran four miles last night, doing a run/walk plan of 30 seconds per half mile. Over all I came in under ten minutes a mile, and for the running sections, I ranged from 9:45 to 9:05, according to my Garmin.

At work, I interviewed a prospective employee who ran middle distances in college. His PR for the marathon is 2:32. He said he could get me down to a 3:30.

Of course, folks will say anything for a good job, won't they?

super mayor

I was in Washington D.C. this week with the mayor for an event hosted by the Brookings Institution. While there, the mayor appear appeared on C-SPAN's Washington Journal and testified before the Senate Committee on Banking, Housing and Urban Affairs.

The Senate affair was a trip. He testified on a panel of mayors that included Michael Bloomberg of New York.

Before the meeting, we waited in an ante room outside the committee chambers. The mayor chatted with Shirley Franklin, mayor of Atlanta, and John Peyton, mayor of Jacksonville. Then a few senators showed up, and finally Bloomberg arrived with his entourage of six or seven staffers. As soon as he appeared, it was time to go.

They opened the door to the chambers, and there was a wall of photographers clicking away -- all of them there for Bloomberg. They kept their cameras trained on the super mayor as he made his was around the room to his seat and while he testified their shutters fired nonstop.

Mayor Franklin spoke after him and about three of the photographers took some pictures of her. Then for Mayor Peyton I think one took a couple shots. Mayor Funkhouser was last, and I was focused on what he was saying so I couldn't tell if anyone took a picture. But if one had, I'm sure it would've been just one or two.

All this was very interesting, because just two days earlier we had been informed by a reporter at our hometown paper that no one would be covering the event. Upon hearing this, my colleague Kendrick called an editor to complain.

Afterward we got a Lexis-Nexis tally of coverage for the event. There was a nice big story from the Atlanta paper, and an even longer one from AP, in which Funk got the top quote and the kicker quote. But when we got home and opened our hometown paper the next day we found a six-inch story buried in the B section -- not even a quote in it.

The whole trip was surreal. In DC, he was highly revered. At this Brookings event, for instance, he was asked to give the closing thoughts. And this was no small thing. It was the largest event in the history of the institution. After his testimony before Senate he got tons of praise from the senate aides and the lobbyists who were all hustling around the scene.

What's more, everyone out there was saying the same stuff the mayor's been saying in KC. They were all talking about the need for regional cooperation on transit, the need for increased investment in infrastructure, the need to start acting strategically and to stop playing politics.

But back home, he's considered a loser by the political insiders -- which includes the folks at the paper. So frustrating. So strange.\

Funny thing, though. Bloomberg was widely detested his first year or so in office. He joked about this while testifying. Referring to how tough it is to be a mayor, he said something like, "If you want to ban smoking, close fire stations, take over the school district and have a parade on Staten Island. All of which turned out to be very popular. So what do I know?"

So maybe our trials are all just par for the course.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

ridiculous

Check out this absurd stuff.

40

I turned 40 today.

I got up at 5:30, let the dogs out, fed them, made coffee, took a cup to Allie, stretched and ran three miles with some sprints mixed in. It's a nice day and I wish I could spend it in the garden rather than at work.

Sunday, June 08, 2008

kansas

For my birthday, Allie treated me to a weekend trip in Kansas. We headed out Friday night and stopped at the AmericInn in Russell where we'd hole up for the night before going to Lucas the next day.

I first visited Lucas 14 years ago, right after I graduated from college. Back then, the only thing in town was the Garden of Eden. There was a storefront with a sign promising the future home of the Grassroots Arts Center. Now, for my 40th birthday, I was finally getting an opportunity to see it.

As we drove west on Friday night, we passed a wind farm. It didn't exist the last time I drove through, in 2005. It was so beautiful in the late evening light, with the sun setting behind the windmills.

The next day I went for a five mile run on a very windy morning. Then we drove the 30 miles to Lucas. We first went to the Garden of Eden. It was just as cool as ever, though Dinsmoor's body has really decomposed.

Behind Dinsmoor's Cabin home was The World's Largest Collection of the World's Smallest Versions of the World's Largest Things. Very cool.

Then it was off to the Grassroots Arts Center for a full tour. It was quite a good museum. We bought T-shirts and a little tin sculpture of an elephant.

The museum was hosting an toilet seat art contest. They're trying to raise money for a public restroom for Lucas. For five dollars, you could enter your own decorated toilet seat. Allie and I decided to give it a shot. We bought a toilet seat and some Sharpees and covered it with a retelling of the Bible story about the original sin in which it isn't Eve eating the apple but Adam leaving the toilet seat up. We laid out the story in big blocky letters and simple drawings just like a folk art piece. We're going to drop it off at the museum today.

All in all a very fun birthday weekend.

Wednesday, June 04, 2008

changes

As per my uncle's request, I've reactivated the site feed function. I also kicked a couple of people off who I don't know and one person who is a newspaper editor. I've left on the wife of a newspaper writer, but I'm friends with her and her husband and I trust them.

This is all a sort of backwards way of saying I'm hoping to post more, and post more about work.

Today the mayor got sued. On second thought, I must edit here.

Saturday, May 31, 2008

update

Everyone has been complaining about the lack of posts. Sorry about that. I've been busy with marriage, gardening, marathon training and the mayor's office. I think we should all come to grips with the fact that I'm going to be one of these post-every-couple-weeks-with-a-laundry-list-post kind of bloggers. Much as that sucks.

First, marriage. Allie and I are doing great. Very much in love. Which is all too vast and personal and wonderful to express in this forum. We're slowly remodeling the kitchen.

Second, gardening. We've been eating lettuce and radishes for weeks now. Got some chard that's ready to pick. In early spring we had some nice over-winter spinach that was fabulous. Now all the hot weather plants are in the ground -- tomatoes, peppers, okra, beans, eggplant, ground cherries, various herbs. And the asparagus I planted a while back has come up and now we've got some wispy little trees here and there. Over Memorial Day weekend I spent many hours out in the yard, listening to audiobooks and just loving every minute of it.

With the running, I'm still technically in my recovery period after the Flying Pig. Official training for Chicago doesn't start for a couple of weeks. But I've pretty much already started laying the foundation. My plan for Chicago is to run three days a week, and bike and do strength training the other three. For the three running days, I'll do two with some sort of speed or agility/stride training and one long run. I've been doing this schedule for about two weeks now and I'm actually feeling myself get stronger. I also seem to have bumped up a notch on the speed meter. I'm now clicking along at less than 10 minutes a mile, once I get warmed up. That's pretty encouraging.

In the mayor's office, it's been very exciting. As a candidate, Mark campaigned for a regional transit system built around light rail. Once in office, he started really pushing it. Soon it became his number one priority. All along the way the newspaper and political smart people have been basically calling him a fool saying there's no way you can get a regional, multi-county system approved by voters all at once. They've all been saying you have to start with a "starter line" -- a short showpiece running from downtown to some of the tourist attractions. "Every other city has done it that way," they say.

Well, they think he's nuts, and we think they're out of touch with the mood of the public. And we finally got to prove it. We were able to have a poll conducted which showed overwhelming support for the concept of a regional system and better-than-50-percent support for a sales tax for that concept. Light rail has never polled that well in KC (except once when it was on the ballot as an impossible plan to span the whole city with no tax increase, which was later repealed). What's more, the "starter line" concept polled miserably.

So we had a chance to gloat around the office knowing all the political wisdom was wrong and we were right. Of course, the know-it-alls haven't admitted this. They've either continue insisting that a starter line is the best way to go, even though all evidence suggests it'll lose, or they act like they agreed with us all along.

Kind of fun, kind of infuriating.

So now the push is to try to get it on the November ballot. To do that, we have to convince three county legislatures to go for it which remains a pretty daunting task at the time of this writing. But yesterday we hosted a summit of local elected officials and about half of them agreed that November's the best time to do it. Others want to wait until next year.

Either way, the mayor is big winner. Let's say he "fails" to get it on this year's ballot, and it's delayed a year. That's still years and years ahead of how conventional political wisdom had things going. They said that we'd only get a regional system after KCMO approves, builds and gets up and running a small starter line. Once the outlying communities see how cool it is, the wisdom goes, they'll want it for themselves. Considering that it'll take at least 7 years to get the first segment up and running, you're looking at well over a decade before the region is on board.

But now, thanks to the skyrocketing cost of gas and the frenzy for "green" solutions, and the mayor's dogged determination, the entire debate has shifted and the timeline has accelerated.

So consider this. The two previous mayors each served two terms. They both had "legacy" projects -- big ticket developments like an arena, downtown entertainment district, improvements to Brush Creek, etc. All of these things happened in their second terms and they were Kansas City-only projects in the hundreds of millions. Now it's looking highly likely that this mayor will have pushed for and won a $1.2 billion, possibly $1.8 billion project done in collaboration with three counties and nearly 50 municipalities -- barely halfway through his first term.

And there will be no disputing that this is his initiative. In the early stages it was only him pushing it -- driving in his Toyota to distant suburbs to meet with mayors to sell the idea, taking constant hits from the newspaper and those in the political know. They all came out on the record, saying loudly and clearly that it was a bad idea, that it would fail, yadda yadda yadda.

During our first year, when things were rocky, all the people "in the know" were saying this mayor's a failure, a one-termer. There was talk of a recall effort, then a silly ill-fated one, and a lot of these folks -- including newspaper columnists -- thought it was plausible. I think a lot these folks still think he's a bumbling mayor, that his chances of reelection are slim. But I'm telling you, they are drunk on conformity. By the end of his first term, this mayor will have so many accomplishments, will have such enormous name recognition, that there will be no way any of these tired old power players will have a chance to beat him.

There. How's that for a rant. Good thing this blog is by invitation only, huh?

Monday, May 05, 2008

the pig has flown


View Larger Map

I finished my second marathon of the year on Sunday. It was fun, but the last two miles were pure agony.

Allie and I drove to the Cincinnati area on Friday. We stayed with her friend Amy.

On Saturday we went to the new Ikea. It was overwhelming. Afterward we drove into Cincinnati. I went to the race expo, and then they dropped me off at a hotel so I could get to the race more easily in the morning. There was a Narcotics Anonymous convention at the hotel, and they were partying in the pool area, right below my window. But I put in earplugs, turned the TV on static and slept with a pillow over my head. That did the trick.

The next morning, on my way to the race, I bought a Sharpee. After I parked my car near the race, I wrote on my running singlet "JOE from K.C. MO." This turned out to be a very wise move.

We started by Paul Brown Stadium, where the Bengals play. The start was delayed 15 minutes. None of us knew why.

With a gun blast, the race began. We crossed a beautiful bridge just as the sun was rising. Then, a couple miles later, we crossed back on another bridge with a beautiful view of downtown. By the time we got to the skyscrapers, the crowd had spread out a bit. There were a lot of people lining the streets. With the crowd thinned somewhat, spectators could see my shirt and they started to cheer for me. It was surreal. We were running into the morning sun and the people on the sidewalks were silhouetted but they were all calling my name as if they knew me or I were the most popular person in south Ohio.

We climbed a long hill into a lovely park overlooking the city and the Ohio River. Then we passed through a trendy area where Allie and Amy were waiting for me to pass.

A little ways later, I saw several runners huddled by the side of the road. As I approached, I noticed they were surrounding someone who was laying on the ground. A few more steps and I made out a couple people kneeling over him pumping his chest and blowing into his mouth. As I passed, I saw that his face was purple.

This was an unsettling sight, to say the least, especially at such a fun, silly event. There were all kinds of people out cheering the runners on (me in particular, by name). A lot of them wore flying pig paraphernalia. I high-fived a human-sized pig and an equally tall chicken. There were pirates serving water and Gatorade in one spot, and beach bums in another.

I did the run-walk thing for the first 8 miles, then I decided to run between the aid stations. My goal was to break 5 hours.

I had to pee three times in the first half, so I was pretty far behind schedule. But as I ran, I seemed to be gaining ground. At mile 20, I passed the five-hour pace group. I thought for sure I had it in the bag.

At mile 22, I passed the guy in the full-body shark costume.

Then, at 23 or 24, I hit the wall big time.

By the time I got to the 25.2 mile mark, where the guy said, "Just one more mile to go," I exclaimed, "Fuck it!" and started to whttp://www.blogger.com/img/gl.link.gifalk. Just then, a woman who was passing me turned and said, "Come on, Joe! I've been hearing your name the whole way. You can't give up now."

So I willed my body into a pathetic, painful shuffle and forced myself toward the finish line. At first, it looked really close, and I felt relieved. Then it telescoped away, like a dream sequence in a bad 70s tv show. At the 26 mile mark, I suddenly heard Allie and Amy. I looked over at them just as I was passing. They would later say that they were worried I was angry at them. That's how bad I looked.

When we got home, I looked up my official time. 5:02:56.

I was dumbfounded. How could I run all that way and make up so little time over Austin?

The next morning, on our way home, we picked up a local newspaper. On the front page was about the man I saw fallen on the side of the road. Allie read it to me as I drove. I was happy to learn that he survived.

Allie also read the news that the race had been delayed because of a house fire on the course. This caused a last-minute change in the route which added at least a quarter mile. My face brightened.

"That means I probably broke five hours!"

We'll see. It's going to be close.