rich people

Forbes' billionaire list is out and, once again, I'm not on it -- thank God. The only Kansas Citian I could find was Donald Hall of Hallmark, who comes in at 428th place in the world, with $1,800,000,000. Not bad for a man who cares enough to send the sappiest.

I was surprised to find no Blocks or Stowers on the list. What other names should I look for? I've sort of drifted out of touch with the Mission Hills crowd, I'm sorry to say.

I went to the list in search of David Glass and Lamar Hunt, our benevolent sports team owners. But neither one of them made it. But, then again, neither of them are Kansas Citians.

But still, they're really contributing locally. They're doing their part to make KC a better place. They're keeping our democratic traditions alive.

What would KC democracy be without rich, self-interested people outspending the poor common folk 2,613 to 1? Would it still be the best system in the world if the elites couldn't dump tons of dough into the hands of a pair of unprincipled snakes like Steve Glorioso and Pat Gray to manipulate a low-turnout April election in order to increase the tax burden for folks who can't even afford their gas bill so that millionaire out-of-towners can sell $100,000-a-year luxury boxes to the Friends of Donald Hall?

So the proponents of this slow-motion mass mugging have ponied up $1.55 million. And who are these so-called advocates? Well, $1.4 million comes from the pockets of the two men who stand to gain the most -- Glass and Hunt. There's another $50 grand from the grunts who'll build this unneeded monstrosity: the Heavy Constructors Association. And rounding out the list are the perrennially misguided sluts at the Greater Kansas City Chamber of Commerce.

Ah, freedom. What did our syllabolically challenged leader say about freedom? Oh yes. Freedom "is the almighty God's gift to every man and woman in this world."

Hallelujah.