Monday, August 20, 2007


Last week I ran into a friend I hadn't seen for a month or so. He told me he's on an adventure to meditate with as many different religious groups as will have him. Doesn't matter what they believe. Just that they meditate together, and that they'll welcome him.

It was an inspiring thought. I happen to be looking for some sort of spiritual practice or connection or whatever. Well, not exactly looking, but readying myself to look, I guess. It seems to be the one piece that's missing. I've got a solid relationship, good job, I'm exercizing regularly, eating very well, doing my chores, keeping up with my hobby, brushing my teeth, etc. But I'm not quite right with God, so to speak.

Actually, that's not the only thing that's missing. I feel a lack of creative outlet. I.E. I miss writing. Which is hard to believe, because when I actually am writing I'm pretty much in constant pain.

So I'm strugglng to find some sort of routine around the new job where I can write something more than just these little posts on this blog. It's not easy. I'm still in the get-used-to-it phase on the job, and it consumes a lot of mental calories. But I can feel it beginning to even out. I'm certainly not as hung up about it as I was in the first couple of months. It's starting to feel more and more like a job, which is at once comforting and horrifying.

And it only serves to heighten my craving for writing.

So here's the plan as it stands for now:

1. Up at 5:30.
2. Out the door by 6:10.
3. An hour at the gym.
4. An hour or so writing.
5. Work.

If I can get that to gel, then I'll add an hour of nonwriting writing in the P.M. -- tending to the more tedious aspects of journalism, such as transcribing notes and tapes and organizing documents and files so as to gleen stories from them.

Which brings me back to my meditating friend. He said his adventure was inspired by a book he'd read by a woman who said the secret to life is rhythm. It's finding a distinct pattern in each day, week, month, season, year, and becoming devoted to it. Living that pattern as if it were a meditative template.

I'm intrigued by the notion. I'm a guy who has never lived a pattern, at least not for longer than a summer. I've sometimes wanted to. But something always comes up to break the rhythm. Maybe it's time to find a groove.

Does this mean I'm getting old?


MAWG said...


MAWG said...

but then you're downloading music on the day its released from groups I've never heard of so.

But I'm pop culturally challenged.

Applecart T. said...

older, yes, but even kids do better on a routine. randomness is one of the messes we've made for the sake of "convenience," and it does tend to crush in on some of us - the fact that since you "can" do something at 7 p.m. when you'd otherwise be making and eating a healthy dinner, for example, that you "should" or that society thinks you "should."

spinning off, i have heard/read a complaint/accusation that the mayor, for example, would rather not work afterhours. while i do believe that elected officials fall in a busier category (eg: bush shouldn't have gone on vacation in 2001 right away like that), i also admire the throwback idea that "my time is my time no matter what."

journalists have this problem too, since "news" happens when it does, and sources are available when they happen to be.

routine is far, far from me, and i have wondered how much it contributes to bad mental and physical symptoms.

i wish you the best of luck on yours.

also with the spiritual quest.